Reality vs. Fantasy

For the past few weeks I have been feeling so much stress from school that I can't believe I have been able to handle it; my boyfriend and close friends have certainly felt the strain from it all. Thankfully this week is the Final Review that will decide if I get to move on with my work into Thesis 2 next semester or not. When I got dressed this day (less than a week ago) I was feeling so much strain and anxiety and words that don't even exist to explain my state of being from all the stress from school, but I wanted to dress in a way that could let me escape my melancholy. Still heavy minded, every time I looked down I felt......excited. Excited for something new, something ground breaking, something experimental, something completely mine. It's funny how my reality is constantly combating with my fantasy. Whats even more funny is how I've spent years believing my fantasy could be my reality if I believed it hard enough, and yet here I am in the battle ground taking the wounds between the two immensely.

Fashion has always been my escape from reality. It has always allowed me to create a new world for myself. Even though every time I leave my room after getting dressed I get stared down and hear remarks being made in hushed tones after people pass me I just turn my music up and march on with my head held high. Because if I can't face the world as my true self, in clothes that make me exhilaratingly happy, then I would just be living a lie. School may be leaving me down trodden, overwhelmed, and pulling the hair out of my head but as long as I can say that I am creating work that I truly love and can stand by proudly then I know that my reality is my fantasy and everything will be ok. 

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