Living Out of A Suitcase

I never realized that I got dressed in a certain formula until I was forced to live out a suitcase (ok, 2 suitcases) for the past month and a half. When all of your clothes are folded or rolled into a small rectangular space it makes getting dressed in a spontaneous fashion extremely difficult, that is for me at least. It seems that the way I get dressed every day relies heavily on the visual layout of how I arrange my clothes. When I lived in the dorms for 5 years I always kept my closet door open and I would lay out some of my absolute favorite clothing or jewelry pieces around the room. I did this 1) for a decorative tone and 2) because I needed to see my clothing in order to remember that I had them.

Yes, apparently I am either so overwhelmed with how much clothing I have that I need to see it to remember that I have it or I really am just that forgetful, let's assume for now that it's the first one.... What this experience has taught me or strongly reminded me is that I rely on visual stimulation to inspire me. If I were to live in a blank white walled room I would probably feel overwhelmingly suppressed, like the soul was being sucked out of me and I wouldn't be able to create or get dressed in a way that makes me feel content. However when I am in a room filled wall to wall with beautiful materials, costume jewelry, lamps, photos, and other random knick knacks I feel heart burstingly inspired and most like myself.

In this past month I willfully admit that I am disappointed in the way that I have been getting dressed. It has been slovenly, unexciting and I will even go as far as boring. I am bored with the most basic pieces that I have and after wearing a bright yellow outfit yesterday for no reason other than I wanted to I have not felt so invigorated to dress eccentrically more so than ever before. Last night I stayed up late to rip up magazines and create some sort of organized but slightly haphazard visual layout that would make me smile and push myself creatively every morning when I wake up and this morning I did just that.

My conclusion to this story is that living out of a suitcase sucks and sadly as much as I am drawn to the idea of jumping on a train with just one bag and boundlessly traveling I don't think I could ever do it. I rely on floor plans and wall layouts and being surrounded by the art that inspires me to feel most comfortable. Maybe one day I will learn to let go of all of these things, maybe not, either way I am quite comfortable with who I am at this moment in time and may I find some sort of drawer situation to get me out of these fucking suitcases.