False Persona

Every morning when we get up and get dressed we are saying something about ourselves. Whether you want to or not it's happening. Some may call this being judgmental but I on the other hand call it a first impression. How you dress yourself can say a lot about you, that is why when you get dressed for an interview you tend to wear something more professional then say your sweatpants on a lazy Sunday. 

dQ5rCe on Make A Gif, Animated Gifs

I am going to go out on a limb here and make a huge confession. I lie all the time. As much as I want to be that strong, empowered, impenetrable bitch that will take over the fashion magazine industry, change the game, make a name for herself and never look back I know that deep down I'm vulnerable, affected by criticism and can be more tender then a thawed out steak. I've felt like an underdog for so long that I've used clothing to make myself feel otherwise. Black accents, harsh words, and heavy jewelry have gotten me through days where I feel like my vulnerability may be the death of me. 

As much as I've used clothing to be a means of genuine expression I've used it just as much as a means to express a false persona. To take on personality traits I wish I pertained naturally through the adornment of certain clothes. By putting on clothing of certain colors, materials or cuts and shapes I have learned how to create another type of Ashley. One more willing to be mean when she needs to be, more willing to give you a death stare than give up within 5 seconds and laugh hysterically, more willing to say no rather than yes. 

What makes this false persona thing all the more intriguing is that as I have been partaking in this"fake" dressing for years now I actually have begun to take on these traits. Ask my friends and they'll all agree on my bitch-like tendencies. Through dressing myself in this way for so long I have managed to take on the traits inherently. They are me and I am them. So what does this say? That if I dress like a Cirque du Soleil act then I could become a trapeze artist in just a matter of time? Not quite, but maybe that even when we dress ourselves in ways that feel completely disassociated from how we think we are it can turn out that we're a lot more complex than we seem.