Inside I'm still that little girl

Looking for acceptance and love and praise and attention

Looking for security.

But now I'm 20 and have that love

A career blooming beyond my wildest dreams

And yet I'm still that little girl inside

And it's ruining everything about me.

I need to be strong, yet I struggle every night

I'm scared, I admit.

I worry that writing these things down undermines everything.

But I don't say any of this out loud

To keep out the mysterious jinx
That haunts our mortal life's.

I think sometimes that I'll die from the inside
before the outside even gets a chance.
That that little girl will rip me apart
And try to become Me

Again.

Will it be better at 25 or 32?
Or am I just a tortured soul
Meant to roam the lands and forever strive for more?
But with great pains come great joys.
And with both comes experience and confidence.

So maybe I am strong

Or at least learning.