Hanging on By a Thread

Photos by me 35mm film

But instead I keep it all inside.
I wish I could lie about all I truly want to say to the one's that matter,
Or even the one's that ponder why.
Why I sit on this pedi-stool and sigh.
Rather than join the masses in banter;
In forced reconciling of their lives.
It's not there, it's not shared.
This electricity of hope for a new way to see.
I'd rather stay in my bed until the day becomes night because I love what I have
I want to see it grow; To fight.
To be better than me.
Than he.
Than she.
And definitely better than all of thee.
I want to inspire.
To bring light to many's eyes.
To show what no one has yet to do.
I want to embrace the face of it until my finger's only know it's touch.
I want to grasp it by the throat and shake it until it's skin turns blue.
I want what no singular person can offer.
I want more than one thing can provide.
I want more than I know. 
I want more than I can see.
I want it. 
I need it.
My soul cannot be satisfied until it has consumed it whole.