Photo by Joshua Johnson 35mm film

Trying to escape it all or not.
Trying to fit in for the sake of not being awkward.
For the ability to fit in
For the ability to escape the judgmental thoughts.
Why do we try?
It makes me feel deluded.
It makes me feel worse.
Unless with loved ones I feel hated and lost.
Separated and meaningless.
Less of a person.
Less of a life.
It’s a way to make it seem like it’ll all be alright.
The quiver and the liquor.
The thrill and darkness of the night
The blinding lights and my blurred sight.
My fucked up disposition and your lack of imposition.
Why do I fall prey like late night bait?
What happens to my strong front and lovely thoughts?
When it all goes black where does my mind hide?

If only I could see in the darkness of the night.