A Brief State of Mind

I wake up and have lost you in my mind. 
I roll over to find I'm alone; your not here by my side.
So I take a deep breath as my toes uncurl to embrace the frigid tile floor
But as quickly as I'm up I fall down and revert to the fetal position 
that I've always found comfort in in cold mornings and long nights.

I remember last night when your body covered mine.
My back became a canvas for your touch
And we made love until we got lost in a surreal state of breaths and gasps.
Then I woke up and you weren't by my side.
Instead I was on the ground.
Naked, curled up, and shivering from the cold.

Were you just a dream?
A brief state of the mind?
Will you be back tonight when I close my eyes to my empty surroundings
That I try to hide with colors, past memories, mirrors, and lies?
In that dream state I felt alive.
Fully conscious.
A forest fire out break within my bodily confides.
I felt excited and driven.
You riled me up, let me enter a new world.
Where 2 became 1 and boundaries were lost.
Where the darkness is the light and warmth is found
When our flesh molds together.

I wake up and see no one by my side,
So I take a deep breath and dive back into the night
Found under pillows and white cotton linen
Where you hide with open arms waiting for me to lie naked
In-between your thighs.
Where you'll hold me tight and whisper sweet nothings
As we look deep in each others eyes that can never tell lies.
I look forward to the night that becomes day.
Where lying together is the most you need to say.
When you hold me in a way that makes death seem less terrifying
Now that I'll have this-this ineffable moment.
This indescribable, reoccurring dream that I hope never leaves my memory. 

Photos by me, 35mm film