With or Without Them

Sometimes I get sad and don't know why.

Then I realize that I'm placing my confidence in thing's that aren't fair.

That I am letting outside forces that don't even know me

Don't know my habits

My talents and hard work

My faults or my smile

I allow these forces to define me

and then I get mad.

At them.

At me for falling for it. 

And the self hatred arises again. 

Modeling is a tricky game. 

Your confident because, well, your a model, you should be confident.

But then you don't book that job, or that next job,

And you begin to question yourself. 

Your ability.

How much people want you.

But it doesn't matter. 

Fuck the people. 

Fuck the job. 

Fuck it all and remember why your doing it.

Because it's fun,

Not because it's who you are.

You are more than a job. 

But they will never know that, nor care to understand.

So breath baby girl, 

One deep breath, and let it all go. 

Be happy for who you are 

For what your going to do.

Don't fret what they don't see, because they never will. 

But you do. 

You know. 

You see.

And you will only grow

With or without them.